when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize