I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You ate ashes out of my bong
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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