So drunk its hurt
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
