just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
now i know why i became what i already was.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
