Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
