I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
