why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
