That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
