We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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