Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
