She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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