And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
