Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize