i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
