so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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