I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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