you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize