Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
