I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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