quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
ok first of all what the fuck
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
