Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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