I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
