i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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