Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
And then he peed in my hair
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
