Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
