you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
