Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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