Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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