Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
