I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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