i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
