we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
