For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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