I just threw up on my dentist
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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