erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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