is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize