So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
