I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
