Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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