Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
