Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
