whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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