I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
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I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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