Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
