i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
