Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
handjob tips. give me some.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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