Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
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She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I made him laugh his dick is mine
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize