yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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