i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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