it wasn't lemon gatorade
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
