You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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