I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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