Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
