3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
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you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
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I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How naked do you want me to be?
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