What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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