problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
