i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
