She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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