Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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