I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
