Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
